So, after a string of phone calls and fervent match of horoscopes and a lot of consultations with the astrologers regarding the appropriate time to meet up, the guy and the girl get together for the awkward first meet. In a normal scenario {by a normal scenario, I mean the ones that I have heard and known about} the room will be filled with at least 4 elders from either side, the grooms younger brother, brides elder sister and a few other people whose presence at that moment is thoroughly unwanted, undesired and yet mysteriously inevitable. Let’s calls them the marriage angels. More often that not the conversation will run something on these lines:
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Groom has arrived with his complete entourage and all of them are seated appropriately .
Bride’s dad is wondering if all the 3 grooms scheduled to be *seen* have arrived at once only to realize after a split seconds thought that these are all the relatives of 1 gentleman only.
The groom is already wishing he could vanish in thin air. He realizes he doesn’t even know half the people he has arrived with. Looking at the brides elder sister, he wonders “Gosh! Doesn’t she look too old to be my bride? What was mom thinking? I should try again for the chic in the adjacent cubicle once I get back!”
Grooms mother [ inaudibly ]: “The house looks pretty ok. Well maintained. People look decent and well off too. Look at the number of people who are here. Large family! Good for my son. If this match works, I will go to the Sai Baba temple and offer 2 rupees this Thursday.”
Grooms father [ inaudibly ]: “Can we get back home in time for the 2nd innings?”
[Incidentally this thought is running as a background process for the groom, his younger brother, brides dad, to sum up in EVERY MALE BRAIN in that room. But the other priority signal overrides the desperacy/urgency in most of them.]
Grooms younger brother [ inaudibly ]: Whatever! : - )
dunno y but the siblings are the most disinterested people in the whole scenario always. Sleepy faced, constantly stifling a yawn, they present a picture of utter contempt for ANYTHING that moves at that point of time.
The bride is yet to arrive.
Girls Dad: [To no one in particular] – Ah! It’s getting so hot/cold/damp/dark/sunny these days. This city is not what it used to be 15 years ago.
Everyone in the room starts smiling and nodding all at once to no one in particular again. The boy’s dad then launches into a lengthy dissertation on the utter lack of governance rampant today. Not to be outdone the girls father will start complaining about the local MLA, the municipality and anything else he thinks he has to talk about and his wife wont listen to. The 2 men discuss about the budget, the government policies etc.
NOW, the younger bro looks as if he is about to fall off the sofa at any moment , the boy is too busy staring at his toes. The wives start panicking. At this juncture, the marriage angels from the girls side save the day by suggesting to the brides mothers to get in the refreshments. Suddenly a hush falls over the room. The girl’s side is wondering whether to bring out the crystal glasses or the china cups? The male side is suddenly queasy. “We will be eating while they are busy staring at us”
Enter the bride’s mother with the refreshment. She motions the elder sister to serve. “This is our elder daughter you see.”
*Ting* the penny just dropped for the groom. She is the elder sis! Ah!
“Her husband works for so and so company. He is such a good gentleman…. We are so lucky to have him for her ” … Putting psychological pressure on the groom you see. For all you know, he might be a lousy money-hungry hound.
This kind of an aimless banter goes on for a while and suddenly everyone is out of topics to offer their opinions on. The guy is getting impatient anyways.
[...cut to scene 2]
Marriage angels come to the rescue again. “Let’s call the girl now”
Suddenly the room livens up. The girl walks in.
Girl: now which one of this is THE guy? I don’t want to smile at the wrong one. Or else mom is going to kill me.
Girls Mother: This is our younger girl. The prospective bride.
Girl:[ inaudibly ] Cha! And these people thought I was Aishwarya Rai. Mom, stop embarrassing me.
Girls mother:[ inaudibly ] This girl never listens to me. She is looking darker than usual in the green saree. The maroon one would have been better. Now they aren’t going to like her.
Groom:[ inaudibly ] Hmm.. now that’s more like it. Seems good enough. And looks like she is uncomfortable in that saree. Which means she wears regular stuff too.
Grooms mother[ inaudibly ]: why is he staring at her like that? What will these people think?
Grooms father[ inaudibly ]: Ah! Good! Now that she is out, we can get going in 20 minutes max. can catch the end of 1st innings too.
Grooms brother[ inaudibly ]: Whatever!
Brides Sister[ inaudibly ]: Whatever!
Anyway the girl sits down.
Girls Dad: So you work for ABC is it? [ inaudibly ] Great Q for icebreakers. He he he…
Boy: [ inaudibly ] Should I nod or say yes. And doesn’t he know it till now? What if I say I am a fitter with the local car garage. He he he. That should be fun. But mom will kill me. Darned rotten location to display my sense of humor. The girl will be impressed like hell though, I bet.
Girl:[ inaudibly ] Dad! You have told me this a thousand times earlier. Why ask him now? He anyway looks like a creep. I cant stand the smirk on his face.
Boy: Yes sir!
Girls mother: You can ask her anything. Go ahead, don’t feel shy.
Boy: [ inaudibly ] A date perhaps?
Boy: So you have done your engineering from Pune is it? [ inaudibly ] how will she react if I tell her my ex was in her college too?
Girl: Yes. [ inaudibly ] Smug bastard, riding high on his IIT credentials.
Boys Mother: [ inaudibly ] Why is he asking this? Sai Baba. I thought he forgot that spoilt Punjabi girl. Don’t let him vomit all that now. Please!
Boy: nice city na?
Girl: [ inaudibly ] how will he react if I tell him “Better bars”? he he he. Darned rotten location to display my sense of humor. The guy will be impressed like hell though, I bet.
After such highly irrelevant questions, there is suddenly a lull all over again.
Marriage Angels from the groom side"so is the month of August suitable for you to arrange for the wedding sir? "
Groom:[ screaming silently ] where did I say an yes?
Bride: [ screaming silently ] where did I say an yes? Is this man that desperate? Saying yes so soon. God, am I done to death or what?
Huge broad smiles on all the others present. After a couple of “O yeses and sures” the groom’s father decides that they better get going if he is to catch Siddhus commentary for the 1st innings.
“We will let you know in a weeks time, sir!”
“Ok sir, we shall be waiting to hear from you.”
And then byes and best of lucks are fiercely exchanged. Thousand doubts assailing each side, they part…
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Now the serious stuff:
Funny as this may seem, this face2face meet is what decides the fate of lakhs of young people each year. Post the meet, either 2 people are united in holy wedlock or the hunt starts all over again.
Its so rib-tickling to be in such a situation and so very ironical that India and Indians have changed a lot in their educational mindset, the standard of living and all other aspects. But still, when it comes to holy matrimony, mamma knows the best. Are we like this only? I do not advocate love marriage over arranged ones nor am I playing down one in the favor of other.
I just wish to know what are your thoughts on the matter. In today’s times what is more relevant. Our parents making the choice for us? Or we choosing the person with whom we wish to walk down the proverbial aisle?
Comments/insights/viewpoints please?
13 comments:
Hmm.. can't help agreeing with you upon this. There are still loads of people who are trying out their luck in this manner and also an increasing number that encourages dating.
The latter mentioned number is still low and I hope that by the time my children get married its on its peak.
If a couple find themselves compatible and decide to get married that's great. An ideal scenario! But then, coming to this arranged marriage thing, I think the only difference that should be is, parents facilitate the meeting and there on it should be left upon the couple to decide.
All said and done, a hillarious account, but very pertinent too.
Enjoyed it!
Thanks Mans...
I hope so too. But I also hope my kids are mature enough to take such an important decision when it comes to that. But lets worry about that when we come to it. Right now, its our marriage we need to get psyched up about :)
Rib-tickling humour. I ejoyed it a lot.
Generally speaking, parents consider too many factors most of which are irrelevant and lovers consider a single factor ignoring even the relevant factors(RF's). In the former case, RFs don't get the attention they deserve and in the latter case, they don't get any attention at all!
Usually, before marriage, lovers show their best faces and after marriage, their worst faces are revealed. Much depends on the difference between the two faces of both.To have an idea about how the life is going to be once the initial excitement recedes both the prospective bride and groom sit together and discuss dispassionately about their attitudes, aspirations, emotional highs and lows, successes and failures, levels of tolerance, sense of humour, common sense (caution: can only be inferred), bringing up children, shaping their future, etc.
But, in the end, marriage involves not only two persons but also their families and it should not be radically against the norms of the society in which we live.
True Trivikram Garu,
Going away from the society that we live in brings in only a sense of isolation. And many a time, even though it is a concious decision on our part, in the later stages of life we end up blaming the life partner for the same.
If 2 mature people come together and decide they are best suited to be each others life partners parents should not object and if parents have serious issues with the kids choice they should be given a fair hearing too.
At the end of the day, a happy married life is the destination. Whatever be the route we may want to take, thats left to the individuals in question.
The only thing to be remembered is this: Man is a social animal. Human species constantly needs interface with the outer world. You cant expect it to thrive in isolation.
Indeed, that shall result in thorough bitterness within.
Nice post. Methinks, the right to make the choice should rest with the people who are getting married. But then, here in India, people are married to the family :-)
:)
Bullseye Neel. But still the saat phere and the commitment in more or less between the 2 people right?
Should a marriage then be decided on the basis of the boys merits or all the other conditions. No wonder, that they are important but IMHO they are still secondary. The grooms/brides merit should be the numero uno factor.
Wassay?
Ah!
True words of wisdom Sriz... The girl will be impressed no doubt [if the frequency matches, that is... Or else you are in big trouble] but the parents will be aghast for sure...
Better be traditional and not get thrown out... What say?
loved the post..esp since i had a similar experience at home recently...urs had spicier details.. :)thankfully i was the bored younger sister in the scenario..yawn yawn..
but seriously shocking on how over-simplified the whole procedure is here!
LOL Di!
Even I was the bored younger sis in this scene! :) Total empathy with you da!
1st time to my world I assume! Welcome aboard! :)
Hilarious one. "This city is not what it used to be 15 years ago." Bangalore?
Recently I am thinking about the ways to avoid this uncomfortable situation and unwanted people too. I think this situation is going to be changed in a few decades. I guess the procedure will exist but the hypocrisy part of it will not - with more active and frank attempts of breaking-the-ice.
ANY city for that matter Ram. :) What I intended to say was that this is the MOST common ice breaker people use to get started on other niceties...
:) It will be immensely gladdening to see if the next few years marks a distinct improvement in our collective pysche but somehow I doubt it... The great Indian Arranged marriage has survived for all these years. It will take more than just a mental resolve to put an end to the hypocrisy part of it.
Great humorous post! Thanks for Poddu.net for introducing me this nice blog.
--Prasad
http://blog.charasala.com
Thanks Spandana for dropping by. And yes, thanks me no thankings. Its Trivikram Garu who is behind all this! :)
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