“So what are your future plans? “, He asked me.
“Excuse me?”, I looked up in disbelief. What are my plans for the future?
I always claim and take immense pride in the fact that I know myself a lot better than people ever get to know themselves. So what indeed lies ahead of me? For the past six months, life has been nothing more than a series of onsite calls, deliverables, deadlines, inevitable bouts of fatigues, crash diets and similar mundane activities that in no way point out to my inherent belief in the theory of existentialism…
Where is my freedom of choice gone? What am I here for? Why am I doing something I would rather not? And why the hell did I not notice the time fly by, just like that?
Ah! All that can wait. He is waiting for an answer. But what do I answer? What can I say? “He he he… I never thought of it” sounds so stupid.
“Well, as far as professional life is concerned I want to stick to this company for some more time. Then maybe I will jump over with a job band change. Personal life, anyways mom and dad look into it.”
Uggh! What was that? A 1/10 at max.
He gave me a strange stare. I stared back at myself too. In retrospect, I realize what is going on… All those days of serious planning, those carefully and painfully planned itineraries… Whatever have they resulted in? A big NOUGHT.
So I left all planning to the One who is greater than any one of us… He who moves everything around and makes myriad patterns of nothingness of our lives just as he makes our lives out of those very myriad patterns of nothingness.
And anyways by planning your life you make an elementary mistake... You tend to overlook the central fact that all the factors that have lead to a particular decision are themselves ever changing… Nothing is more ridiculous than to arrive at a place ( or a conclusion) and realize you have no idea why you struggled so hard to get here in the first place! :0)
And this has happened to me many times in the past. Result: I deduced that I am better off not burdening myself with the lofty pursuits of the tomorrow that never comes… Each day is the same as the previous one or the next. Whatever! Accolades of today are forgotten tomorrow just as the ignominy of yesterday is lost on us today.
What is time? What is today? What is tomorrow? And what exactly was yesterday? All of it is nothing but a myth and all of it comes to nothing in the end.
I will pass on to the next world.
So shall you.
We all will be replaced by someone else.
Who shall plan for his days too.
In vain do we think, we write the story
We do as we will, we are indeed free
If it is so then tell me what is it that you’ve changed
Indeed, how different are you from me?
5 comments:
I am not different from you. I planned and waited so long I reached here. Now I realize that I lost something. Now I stopped planning for the future. I plan for the present: How do I spend today healthy and pleasant. Days are going by pretty good. But my attitude is always ridiculed by people around me. They want me to be "alert". I know being alert in their sense of the word would spoil my bliss.
:)
In fact Ram, I'd go the extent of saying that by not planning our ways head we are being the alertest of all!
When all that has been written will be, the planning and the careful & diligent dissection of whats-to-come comes to a big ZILCH, doesnt it?
Doesnt it make a lot of sense to go with the flow and see what comes out of the day that is today?
I think so... At least for the moment I do!
Thanks for visiting my page... Keep commenting!
"You tend to overlook the central fact that all the factors that have lead to a particular decision are themselves ever changing…"
!
Nothing is more ridiculous than to arrive at a place ( or a conclusion) and realize you have no idea why you struggled so hard to get here in the first place! :0)
:(
Each day is the same as the previous one or the next.
Really!? :O
Whatever! Accolades of today are forgotten tomorrow just as the ignominy of yesterday is lost on us today.
Ostensibly true but...life is not about counting the accolades and ignominies. The best way to live a meaningful life is to make this world a better place to live in for the hapless.
One more thing! I am pleasantly surprised to see Ramanath here. I really really pity you as you are unable to read the wonderful blog he writes in Telugu. I hope you will learn Telugu at least to appreciate his blog.
Life isnt about letting go of the counts of failure and the successes either 3vkram garu... All the time, life tends to teach us lessons... We need to be ready to imbibe them too, right? :)
And yes, I realise that I am losing out on a lot of good things in life - thanks to my inability to read the telugu script... Am working on it! :) I swear I am...
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